I didn’t need a lawyer to get married, why do I need one to get divorced?

     Well the problem isn’t that it is too hard to get divorced, the problem is that it is too damn easy to get married.  If the world made sense, there would be a law requiring a $5,000 dollar bond being deposited before any marriage license would ever be issued.  Unfortunately, the concept of “substantive due process” came to have a life of its own after the Dred Scott decision; where the Supreme Court wrestled with the conundrum of the time where on one hand the U.S. valued freedom as one of its core principles, but on the other hand allowed white people to treat black people like a piece of sellable lawn furniture.  The irrationality inherent in that contradiction resulted in the concept of “substantive due process”, a legal oxymoron that spawned a whole series of fanciful legal “rights” unmentioned in the Constitution, to include the rights of marriage and procreation.
     Now I’m all for stupid people breeding, because someone has to cook my fries, but when I don’t have the late night drunken munchies, I tend to revisit the topic.  Especially when they later come looking for a divorce.  But they don’t really want a divorce, they just want to trash their formerly beloved soulmate in open court.  For the love of God, it was only 2 years ago when you stood in front of all your friends and embarrassed yourself by staring cow-eyed at that person and promising the world you’d love him/her forever!  Do you really want to present to the court the time that s/he called your mother a stupid %$#@% in front of the kids as proof that s/he is an unfit parent?  By the way, you do know that your mother really just may be aaaaaah . . . well nevermind.
     The point being, people need a lawyer to get divorced because although the government has made it a right to enter into one of the worst contracts in the world without legal counsel, to exit that contract, you will need a professional to un-“do” the mess.  Especially when you went and had children.  The fact of the matter is, the court looks at your future happiness as an entirely secondary issue when children are involved.  The “best interests of the child” means that if you have to sell your Beemer and start riding Marta to work in order to make your child support payments, you better start looking for a Breeze card.  The judge just may want to cry a tiny tear on the inside for you due to the depreciation of your once glorious personal life, but that same judge just sentenced 22 people to a total of 476 years in prison yesterday, and all his inner tears are about used up.
     The question you gotta ask yourself now is do you want a divorce or do you want to have a long protracted public flogging of your soon to be ex-spouse?  Either way, you better get yourself a good Georgia divorce lawyer that knows the ins and outs of Georgia family law.  OH.  Don't go getting physical, or you might need a Georgia criminal defense lawyer too!

(I didn’t need a lawyer to get married, why do I need one to get divorced? | Georgia Divorce Lawyer)