Regarding the Clothing of Whippings with Judicial Blessings.

Ahhh . . . the good old days.

Men were men, women were women, and beating children in public was as Apple Pie as driving home with a beer in your hand.  Texting while driving wasn't even a glimmer in the eye of Steve Jobs, who was still masturbating to the posters of Princess Leia hanging up on his bedroom wall.

Nowadays, all those "liberal elites", who in between controlling the news media, pushing for funding for abortions, and giving all your hard earned money to the lazy and indolent are trying to make us soft on crime by not allowing parent to impose their God given right to beat their children in public.

Image that!
And not only do those "liberal", leftist, Socialist America haters not allow parents to raise their children the way they want to, they don't even let the village that they think is supposed to raise them help out!

Just check this case out !!
 http://supreme-court-georgia.vlex.com/vid/in-re-ellerbee-20402457

The Supreme Court of Georgia had the audacity to reprimand a trial judge who allowed the parents of the child to use his whip and beat the child in the courtroom.

Doesn't it just make you miss the good 'ol days??

America is just going to hell today due to all these damn supposedly enlightened people running around telling you that beating children creates trauma and mental issues later in their life.  Next they will be saying that you can't have sex with with your stepchildren.  Geeesh.  Why do you think he married that broad in the first place if not to get next to her hot 16 year old daughter.  This is the South you know.  It's a TRADITION!  And people shouldn't mess with established TRADITION!!

Bunch of MEATHEADS!

More about appeals (sort of)

well, this video was laying around, and I want to see if it works, and figure out why my SHIFT key is messed up, so I am trying the embed code . . .





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So you lost at trial . . . what about that right to appeal?

            I know you are all thinking it . . . I am so much smarter than Antonin Scalia, and I know so much more about the U.S. Constitution than the rest of those black robes, so how the hell can I not know more than that local state court judge who is anywhere from 2 to four 4 levels down the chain from those guys?

            Why did I lose??  I knows the law! I knows my Constitutionamal Rights, and I know that those laws and my rights are being violated!

"Appellate Options I" by anonymous on GoAnimate

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            Yes, you have read every John Grisham novel, and you listen to all the inspired ramblings gushing out on the deranged Glenn Beck A.M. radio psychosis machine, and you likely know how to make the (discredited) argument that the I.R.S. is illegal, believe “birthers” have proven that Obama has destroyed the Constitution, and probably even think that banning crucifixes in the courtroom is a war on Christmas. 

Well, try to let go of those passionate beliefs along with the belief that your “Constitutional right to an appeal” is the best way to get what you want done in the legal system.  The best way to get what you want done in the legal system is to win at the trial court.

How do I get those FaceBook pics of my wife blowing a guy into evidence?

  So, there you are, just posting on FaceBook your favorite cat pictures, and telling people about the cool piece of lint that just fell out of your belly button, and you happen upon a picture of your wife deepthroating your best friend . . .
  Well . . . FaceBook doesn't really allow porn, but they are both tagged together, drunk and laughing in one picture, and in the next picture, you can only see him smiling, and her head is in his lap.  Good enough for a little court room tawdriness, eh?
  Best for you to tell your Georgia Divorce Attorney, or Georgia Criminal Defenses Attorney . . .
. . . that you have just read Smoot v. State, 2012 WL 1994711 (June 2012), and you can help him or her from failing to authenticate that lovely moment in their cheating lives.

(NO HYPERLINK YET, your website could link HERE)  :-)

  Printouts from Smoot's website, "ifshewontiwill.com"  (sorry, no longer on the web) were properly authenticated and ADMISSIBLE, but the printouts from (sorry again, it no longer these services) the Craigslist advertisements were INADMISSIBLE.  
(FYI.    all the Craigslist hookers . . . I mean escorts . . . are now advertising HERE though . . . although, you better make sure you read up on Smoot!

So . . . Why were the "ifshewontiwill" printouts ADMISSIBLE?
(1)
“As a general rule, a writing will not be admitted into evidence unless the offering party tenders proof of the authenticity or genuineness of the writing. There is no presumption of authenticity, and the burden of proof rests upon the proffering party to establish a prima facie case of genuineness.” 
(2)
 " . . . one of the investigating officers testified that he made the printouts of the website, which were “a fair and accurate representation of the actual things” that he personally viewed on the website as part of his investigation." 

(3)

"Moreover, the State presented circumstantial evidence that Smoot was the source of the website by introducing business cards found in her residence that were entitled “Adult Social Network,” listed the web address for the Ifshewontiwill website, and contained the statement “Created by Gold,” which Smoot admitted to police was her nickname."

and . . .

(4)

"Smoot also admitted to the officers that she was “familiar” with the website."

(so)

The court then stated: 

"Under these circumstances, the State sufficiently authenticated the printouts from the Ifshewontiwill website to create a prima facie case of genuineness."

 

AND . . . Why were the Craigslist printouts INADMISSIBLE?

(1)

"These printouts were introduced through the police lieutenant, but there was no testimony from her that the printouts fairly and accurately represented the contents of the website she personally viewed as part of her investigation."

(so)

and the court then stated:

"Accordingly, the State failed to elicit testimony sufficiently authenticating the printouts from Craigslist.org, and the trial court abused its discretion in admitting those printouts into evidence."

.

.

.

.

Draw your own conclusions, and make sure your business cards fit the Smoot Rule, and have the following ambiguous content:

 “Adult Social Network.” 

 “True Freaks ONLY!!!!,” 

“Ready to Have Some Fun,”

 “HBIC/CEO” of “All You Need Entertainment.”

“10–20 Entertainers always available” 

and “Appointments taken 24/7.”

AND OH!!! Don't forget to take the weed out of your closed wooden box in your master bathroom where you will be caught when the police raid your personal residence.

(Smoot did get convicted for possession of marijuana)

 

Georgia Personal Injury Lawsuit Service of Process on an Out of State Motorist

OR

“How I Learned to Stop Fearing Legal Gibberish and Love Statutory Interpretation."

WARNING!!

     This is an extremely dry three part analysis of how to serve an out of state driver in a civil lawsuit.  If you are looking for fun, humor, and rolicking good fun, you need to click on the above link for the trailer, or CLICK THIS LINK this link to watch one of Peter Sellers greatest creations.

I disavow all responsibility for any actions you take after having read this.

You need to report to a Georgia Personal Injury Attorney and get your legal advice there.

                         (YOUR LAWFIRM'S NAME HERE!!)

PART ONE – The exact words that have been enacted into law:

O.C.G.A.§ 40-12-2. Service of process on Secretary of State

Service of process upon a nonresident pursuant to Code Section 40-12-1 shall be made by serving a copy of the complaint or other pleading with summons attached thereto on the Secretary of State, his duly authorized agent, or his successor in office, along with a copy of the affidavit to be submitted to the court pursuant to this Code section. Such service shall be sufficient service upon any such nonresident, provided that notice of such service and a copy of the complaint and process are forthwith sent by registered or certified mail or statutory overnight delivery by the plaintiff to the defendant, if his address is known, and the defendant's return receipt and the plaintiff's affidavit of compliance with this Code section are appended to the summons or other process and filed with the summons, complaint, and other papers in the case in the court wherein the action is pending. The Secretary of State shall charge and collect a fee as set out in Code Section 45-13-26 for service of process on him under this Code section.

PART TWO – Breakdown the run-on sentence and parse the subjects, objects, and connectors

à SERVICE

ON non-resident motorist

MADE BY

SERVICE

            OF Summons and Complaint (or other pleading with summons attached thereto)

            ON Secretary of State; his duly authorized agent, or his successor in office

                        ALONG WITH

                                    Affidavit of compliance with this Code section

            AND

                        (IF the Defendant’s address is known)

                        NOTICE of service by O.C.G.A. § 40-12-2 and A COPY of the Complaint and Process

                        ARE SENT BY

1)     Registered mail,

2)     Certified mail, or;

3)     Statutory overnight delivery

BY the Plaintiff

TO the Defendant

AND

            The Defendant’s return receipt, and;

            The Plaintiff’s Affidavit of compliance with this code section

Are appended to

1)     the summons; or

2)     other process

AND

3)     FILED WITH the

a.      Summons,

b.      Complaint, and;

c.      Other Papers

In the case where the action is pending

àThe Secretary of State can charge the Plaintiff for service in this manner.

PART 3 – Translate (if possible) into “Common Speak”

     If you are filing a lawsuit in Georgia against an out of state driver, you can serve that driver by mailing the lawsuit to the Georgia Secretary of State as long as you pay for tracking and delivery confirmation.  You must include an affidavit that states you understand and have complied with the law in serving in this manner.  You must file a copy of everything you sent to the Secretary’s office with the court where you filed the lawsuit.

Now WHY didn't they just say that?

BECAUSE Troy, and OTHERS, words MEAN THINGS!

AND, because Part 3 leaves out so many details, that although you may think you know what it means, it really is not as helpful as you think, and leaves out many important details!

P.S.

Eli Manning looks really STUPID wearing little Tinker Bell wings in that Direct TV commercial.

Right to a Jury Trial in Georgia

 . . . Well, this post is not going to be fun to read, but it will be useful for ME when I need to find this information again.  Nearly all of it is cut and paste directly from the text of the source information, but if you use it, your on your own if you have not hired a good Georgia criminal defense attorney. (Link doesn't work??? ooooooh . . . maybe no-one has paid me to turn it on yet.)


NOTE . . . a good Georgia criminal defense attorney is different than a criminal attorney.

GEORGIA LAW ON THE SUBJECT

“The right of trial by jury as declared by the Constitution of the state or as given by a statute of the state shall be preserved to the parties inviolate.”

O.C.G.A. § 9-11-38

US Constitution

Criminal Jury Trials

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense.

o   U.S. ConstitutionAmend. 6

Civil Jury Trials

In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

o   U.S. ConstitutionAmend. 7

GA Constitution

(a) The right to trial by jury shall remain inviolate, except that the court shall render judgment without the verdict of a jury in all civil cases where no issuable defense is filed and where a jury is not demanded in writing by either party. In criminal cases, the defendant shall have a public and speedy trial by an impartial jury; and the jury shall be the judges of the law and the facts.

(b) A trial jury shall consist of 12 persons; but the General Assembly may prescribe any number, not less than six, to constitute a trial jury in courts of limited jurisdiction and in superior courts in misdemeanor cases.

(c) The General Assembly shall provide by law for the selection and compensation of persons to serve as grand jurors and trial jurors.

o   Ga. Const.  Art. 1, § 1, ¶ XI

Some exceptions include:

However, the right is not conferred in all cases:

-                  Suits in equity  

o   Cawthorn v. Douglas County, 248 Ga.760 (1982)

-                  Injunctions

o   Turner Adv. Co. v. Garcia, 251 Ga.46 (1983)

-                  Garnishments

o   Worsham Bros. Co. v. FDIC, 167 Ga.App. 163 (1983)

-                  Enforcement of equitable liens

o   Williams v. Overstreet, 230 Ga.112 (1973)

-                  Appeals from decisions of the unemployment compensation Board

o   O.C.G.A. 34-8-223(b)

The demand for jury trial can be made at any time up until the case is called for trial, or upon the call for trial. 

o   Carleton v. State, 176 Ga. App. 399 (1985).  (However, note that if a person has the opportunity to invoke the right to jury trial, and does not do so immediately, s/he is deemed to have waived the right, and the right to revoke that waiver is not absolute.  It proof is shown that allowing revocation of the waiver would “substantially delay or impede the cause of justice”, the court may deny the request.)

(link to your website could be right HERE!)

Parenting Time Deviations in the Age of Income Shares

     One hundred thousand years ago, Keyrock fell into a crevasse only to be unfrozen near the end of the 20th century by the warm brotherly embrace of the legal profession.

See the Exciting Backstory about KEYROCK !

     More recently, in 2007, the State of Georgia transitioned into the "income shares" model for calculation of child support, and even old curmudgeons like the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer needed to catch up with the times and stop thinking like they were still calculating support as if it were just based purely on a percentage of income.
     One of the key points of this concept is that the percentage of time that a parent has the child in his custody DOES NOT MATTER in determining deviations from the basic child support obligation
UNLESS,
     (1)the parents share TRUE Joint Physical Custody
          (which means 50/50 time split between the parents)
OR
     (2) the court orders (or a jury finds by special interrogatory) that special circumstances exist due to the extended parenting time of one of the parents that justify the deviation.
O.C.G.A. 19-6-15(i)(2)(K).

Of course, in condition (2), it is important to remember that the "best interests of the child" is the standard by which the deviation is justified, and not the "best interests of the parent to have a round number to remember when s/he writes a check".

WHAT THIS MEANS IS:  the amount of time spent with the child DOES NOT allow a deviation UNLESS it is 50/50, or if you have EXPENSES associated with the excessive parenting time.  The expenses cannot be assumed or you know what happens????  (click HERE to find out)

Don't believe some faceless name on the internet?  Good for You!!  There is a lot of crap out there.
Listen instead to the Georgia Court of Appeals:  (read that fine print!)

          Thus, the current child support guidelines are premised on a rebuttable presumption that each parent should contribute to the financial support of their child in the same proportion as that parent's income relates to the sum of the parents' incomes, without regard to the amount of time the child spends with each parent. The guidelines permit the court or the jury to deviate from the presumptive amount, but only when the child resides with both parents equally or when special circumstances exist and such a deviation serves the best interest of the child

Hamlin v. Ramey, 291 Ga. App. 222 (2008).

Well, I'm behind Keyrock, in that I am just a guy who knows how to read the English language.
If you want legal advice, go talk to a licensed Georgia attorney.  (a link to your website could be here!)

Using Words

Ok, this starts off with two legal terms, AMENDED, versus AMENDMENT.
  An Amendment is an addition to an existing document.
  An Amendment is like a Constitutional Amendment, such as the Second Amendment, which in a general sense, gives Americans the right to own firearms whether or not they are mentally ready to possess them, or physically capable of competently using them.  (see the whole text of the Constitution here.)

An Amended document is a new version of an existing document.
  If you have an existing divorce order, and you want to change that order to have new language in it, you need to amend the existing order.  For example, in the original order you have the ex wife's name being changed to Mary Smith, but it really should have been changed back to Mary Jones, then you need to file and have entered an amended order.
PS.
If you don't have an original document approved by the court, and entered as an order, you cannot file an "amended order" because there is nothing to be amended.   


Now we go to another term often used in affidavits.  NOT, versus NAUGHT.
  At the very end of an affidavit, some sort of sentence is used to indicate that the affidavit is over, and then some sort of signature line with identifying language for who the affiant is comes immediately after.  The two most common forms of this are:
1)  The Affiant Further Says Not.  
     If you interpret what this line says in the English language, the affiant is literally saying the word "not", and that doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
2)  The Affiant Further Says Naught.
     This line makes more sense, as it means that the affiant further says nothing.  Now this seems to be the Olde Englishe sort of language usage, but at least it makes sense.


Now how about we deviate into a complete demonstration of words that people should not use if they do not know what they mean . . .


Aural     v.     Oral     -     I suppose this is better than some, because at least they deal with the senses.
Awful     v.     Offal     -     While both are not so good, one means bad, and the other means poo.
Altar     v.     Alter     -     If you want to altar your paperwork, the courtroom is not the place for it.


Anyway, lots of other homonyms to get to, but this post was just because, once again, someone wanted to amend a document that was never accepted in the first place, and I wanted to write this instead of go to lunch.

Regarding your righteous indignation during your divorce.

     The first thing that you may need to realize is that while you are going through your divorce, you have automatically been deprived through uncontrollable human biology of 30 points of I.Q., so you shouldn't trust your own judgment in nearly anything you do, let alone in anything relating to your actual divorce.

THEREFORE, as has been often said, get a competent Georgia divorce attorney.

     But since your judgment is so horribly askew to begin with, (and combined with the fact that you lost twice the average I.Q. points) you are currently hovering at about 15 I.Q. points lower than Lenny Small and have decided to go it alone ("pro se").
     Armed with all the legal knowledge you have gathered from the greatest of T.V. shows showing how to act in court, you feel confident that your righteous indignation will show impress the judge that he will have no choice but to not only grant your every wish, but to grant you an honorary law degree and law license.

Guess what....

Most couples who end up in court wind up with each person thinking that they got a lousy deal.

     Your righteous indignation displayed in court with histrionic gestures, language, and body language do not impress the judge, they merely show how childish and irrational you currently are, and serve to make the judge think that there is something to the other person's case because you obviously must be even worse outside the confines of a courtroom where one would think you are trying to be on your very best behavior.
Stop watching Franklin and Bash.
Don't take litigation tips from Nancy Grace.

Some other helpful tips for working with the court include:
DON'T:
-  Call the courthouse and declare that "I pay your salary, so you better get to work for me!"
-  Call the judge's office demanding an appointment with the judge because you need a divorce now.
-  Use the argument "I didn't need an attorney to get married, so why do I need one to get divorced?"
-  Come to court wearing a shirt that says: "Everyone needs a little Doe sometimes." or some other saying that may not be the message you want to tell the court.
-  Argue in court that there is a conspiracy against you starting from the front desk clerks to the judge in front of you that will soon be deciding your case.
(all 5 are true stories that I either experienced first hand, or was told second hand by a person working in the courthouse.  I would try to remember more, but I am over my target word limit for posts.)

Returned? Or never been gone?

It seems like it has been a year, or perhaps two, since the Pez Head bobbled back and popped out a yummy tasty treat of law....
Where have the Pez been?
And why has we been so lonely all this time?
Could it be the economy?
Could it be the ridiculousness of what passes for public debate?
Could it be that I have been in Vietnam 40+ years too late to really enjoy the love long time of Vietnamese bar girl who knew how to communicate without speaking the same language?  Well . . . at least the same spoken language that can be translated into words.
Some things are just mysteries beyond how the thermos keeps things warm in the winter and cool in the summer.  And a good mystery is best not investigated too closely.
Just be glad when it feels so good and tingly.
But not burny.
That's not as nice.

Happy Half Christmas!